It’s not that we aren’t appreciative of the offer of help from others, but sometimes you just want to scream, “STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!” What about the innocent question, “Is there anything I can do to help?” and similar questions when we or our loved one is in an intensive care unit, or in the throws of early trauma. Caring people don’t realize the stress that chit-chat big everyday questions add. What is demanding and what is not? And Louise looks harder at the, “Oh, it’s a blessing” reply when a loved one who was suffering dies, no matter how old. Intended to be consoling, but is it? Many of these words fall under the heading, “What not to text.” Louise explores the kind of texts that are soothing to someone in trauma, and she begins an unfolding explanation of how we can understand trauma more fully.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 14 Soothing Texts -- What (Not) to Text
August 7. DAY 3.
In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Dr. Kris Radcliff, a spinal surgeon with the Rothman Institute in Philadelphia and Archer’s neck surgeon at Atlanticare in 2015
and
Mary Lou Healy, a middle school math teacher at the Cathedral School in Baltimore in 2015 at the time of Archer’s accident, and now teaching at Calvert Hall High School.
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
Louise saw the ashen look on her daughter’s face as they passed in the doorway. She was confused until she heard what the nurse had told Paula, Pete, and Archer, “It’s just swelling.” One sentence was a gut punch sucking the hope out of the room and maybe the life out of her son. Louise was in a hateful fury over the insensitivity of someone who was supposed to be looking out for Archer’s well-being. How do we overcome the hurts of others’ heartless words? People in authority wield a lot of power. This includes nurses. But they are not all-knowing, are they?
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 13 What Not to Say August 7. DAY 3.
Paula Senft Easton, Louise’s eldest child, and only daughter, and Archer’s sister, who was 24 at the time of Archer’s accident and is today the Associate Director of Admissions for the Friends School in Baltimore
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
Preparing visitors for what to expect when visiting your loved one in a trauma unit is critical. It’s stunning how quickly we see the new normal of machines, tubes, and life support, but it can be shocking to first-time and especially younger visitors. They may think they’ll be in the way, and they may be frightened, but the recovery of Archer is dependent on familiar faces showing up and bringing some normalcy. Most of all, such visitors allow Archer, who is tragically altered, to still be seen as himself, despite the horror of what may have been the first recognition of the new reality.
The traumatic event doesn’t just impact the patient; it impacts all those around especially the ones closest to the patient. And the emotional roller coaster can cause lasting damage to their bodies. The patient needs support in every way. So do the family caregivers. Listen in for ways we can take care of the insides of our bodies to be of greatest service to those we are protecting and caring for during and after the unfolding of a traumatic event, so we can continue to show up.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 12 Some Things Stay the Same August 7. DAY 3.
In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Robby Black, a Baltimore McDonogh high school lacrosse friend of Archer and of Louise’s son, Dewey
Bobbie Austin, a Baltimore McDonogh high school lacrosse friend of Archer and of Louise’s son, Dewey
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
Random strangers entering the room day and night, her family not allowed to all be together, and medical staff thinking she was crazy without saying so. Louise still managed to go into auto-pilot as a mediator and take notes of everything that was happening. Trouble was, she, in moments of her own trauma, couldn’t write her name or realize which of her five children was in trauma. How does the brain manage trauma? She gives a rare inside look at how it really is when you are just barely holding it together in shock. If we are lucky, we have family with us, and until then a few surrogate family members standing by us, holding us up before our immediate family arrives. Dear friends slip into that role if we are lucky. If not, even a caring stranger can provide temporary stability to ensure our safety and prevent our mental collapse.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 11 Holding it Together August 7. DAY 3.
In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Leah Marino Barsby, from Philadelphia, the then-girlfriend, now wife of Davis Barsby, who was part of Archer’s rescue off the beach at the Beach Club in Cape May
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
Sometimes the unexpected - like a Color War - is the natural solution to ease into and ensure that life goes on after the delivery of bad news. At least that’s how it was for Louise and her family when they needed to tell their youngest son, Dutch, who was away at camp, what had happened to his big brother two days ago.
How much is too much bad news to share with your children? We want to be honest, We want to protect them. We want to respect they are capable of understanding. We want to instill in them the ability to work out what is scary. It’s a very personal line depending on the age, maturity and relationship you have with each of your children. Same goes for breaking bad news to siblings, and even parents and friends.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 10 What to Say August 7. DAY 3. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Dutch Senft, Louise’s youngest son, who was 13 at the time of Archer’s accident.
Steve Lepler, the Director of West End House Camp in Maine
Lisa Melancon, a friend of Louise’s and the mom of one of Dutch’s best friends in Baltimore
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
No one called to tell her. Returning to the hospital from the first time she’d left Archer’s side, a pitstop at home for a few hours’ sleep and a shower, Louise was shocked and enraged at the situation she walked into. Tubes like garden hoses now protruded from Archer’s chest. Within a matter of hours, her son had undergone two emergency surgeries, and no one had called her.
Feeling anger and bitterness surge through her like venom, Louise reminded herself to look for small mercies and sweet moments. One of her sons sat reading to his brother, who lay motionless next to him. Texts from friends. The power of a specific intention. The warmth of being called by name by someone who loves us. Even in chaos, even when your child looks like he is on a barbecue spit, grace and beauty surround us.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 9 Pray for Archer. August 7. DAY 3. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Nan Waller Burnett, Louise’s mediator friend from Denver
Mike Determan, Archer’s friend since grade school days in Baltimore
Kathie Okun, Louise’s friend in Baltimore from Women President’s Organization
Cathy Giannascoli, Mom of Danny Giannascoli, Louise’s friend, and the Senft’s summer neighbor in Cape May
And many texters.
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
Sweet but painful visuals as Louise looked around the house where a lacrosse stick, a razor, even a tree reminded her of the past, how it was, and the now. This tree that Archer grew up with “Archer’s tree” as they called her was the only tree in the area with leaves falling. It was as if she knew what had happened to Archer. As Louise surveyed the house, and the yard, she was bombarded by not only those details, but of everyday skills and tasks that we take for granted. Do you believe your emotions are the pathway healing? Louise does and invites us to love deeply. She also makes promises to God, the Divine, that she, Louise, will experience daily life as precious.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 8 Archer’s Tree Weeps Too: She Knows August 7. DAY 3. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Parker Mitchell, Archer’s good friend from Baltimore lacrosse and high school who was visiting the Senfts
Danny Giannascoli, Archer’s good friend and Cape May neighbor whom he's grown up with
James Schmucker, Archer’s good friend in Cape May
Patty Schmucker, Mom of James and Jacqui Schmucker who both worked with Archer at the Beach Club
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
Louise begged to know, “Will he get his hands back? He needs his hands because he’s an artist and a cook!” Truth is devastating and tough to swallow. The response was no different, “Not likely.” Sometimes people hold information that we are owed. They try to protect us by tucking it away until “the right time” or a better time to share it with us. They also withhold hope when the answer isn’t truly concrete and based in fact. There is not a good time to hear bad news. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find the truth and combine it from several sources, weigh it against what you want to believe and hope for, and what is factual. But it can be delivered with gentility, compassion, and love.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 7 The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth August 6. DAY 2. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Dr. Kris Radcliffe, a spinal surgeon with the Rothman Institute in Philadelphia. In August 2015, Dr. Radcliff was an associate professor of orthopedic surgery with a joint appointment in neurological surgery. On August 5, 2015, he was Archer’s neck surgeon
Lisa Melancon, family friend and mother of one of Louise’s son Dutch’s best friends in Baltimore
Dr. Kelly Willham at AtlantiCare, New Jersey, a trauma surgeon in the ICU
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
I could’ve insisted he do something else. I should’ve taken the time to see him again.
We could have prevented this.
Right?
When our children experience trauma, we as parents are haunted, ripped apart, kept awake, and often paralyzed by notions of all we could’ve, should’ve, would’ve done. In this episode, Louise recalls Bill’s and her own such thoughts, which threatened to tear apart their marriage, and more importantly, their journey of releasing these damaging patterns of thinking, struggling to stand on solid ground in a chaotic unfamiliar Intensive Care Unit.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 6 The Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda’s August 6. DAY 2. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Joanne Quenzer, a dear friend from Philadelphia who drove up from Cape May with a robust CVS care package
Davis Barsby, the Assistant Manager at the Beach Club and the head lifeguard at the time of the accident, and a lifelong friend of the Senft family
Danny Giannascoli, Archer’s good friend and Cape May neighbor whom he's grown up with
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
If you hear of another person’s tragic news and think there is really nothing you can do, please reconsider. There is something you can do. Louise asks for prayer, your prayer. See what happens when Louise texts a few friends that her family is in trouble and to pray hard. “Stay strong” or “Keep the faith” are good concepts, but see what happens when the heart is stirred being called by name. Louise’s friend, Betty Hines shared, “Even those of different faith and different religions came together because this was about someone's child.” Louise recalls a Dominican nun who taught at her high school answering her question about people of other faiths, or of no faith, telling her, “We are all called to be one”.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 5 Prayer Warriors Unite. August 6. DAY 2. In this episode, you will hear interview excerpts from
Cathy Giannascoli, a friend in Pennsylvania and the Senft family’s summer neighbor in Cape May
Mike Determan, Archer’s friend from grade school days in Baltimore, Maryland,
Loretto Kane, a friend in Seattle, Washington, and Hospitalier of the Order of Malta
Betty Hines, another friend in Baltimore who had been chapter chair of Louise’s Women Presidents Organization group
#hopeforeverything #obtaineverything
