The volume, the tension, old wounds filled the dining room as Billy and Louise knew they were in trouble and needed to come to some resolution in order to get back to Archer as one unified heart. This is a messy episode. Louise’s trusted and professional friend, Rachel Wohl, was more than a fly on the wall while witnessing two people she cared about in the throws of trauma - she was brought in to help them actually hear each other. Her discomfort in unfamiliar territory also shows the strength of her deep love for the Senft family.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 29: Mediation for the Mediator August 10, Day 6.
Listen in afterwards to Episode 29: Mediation for the Mediator Trauma Healing Learning.
In this Episode you will hear an interview excerpt from
Rachel Wohl. She is a dear friend of Louise’s. Rachel is a retired lawyer and
the former Executive Director of the Mediation and Conflict Resolution Office for the Maryland judiciary. She is also a mindfulness teacher and a volunteer mediator in international and social justice.
Two steps forward, one step back was the best Billy and Louise could hope for as they were in the throws of mediation to give them strength to pick themselves up again and again after falling apart several times since Archer’s accident. In this trauma healing learnings episode, Louise drives home the importance of bringing in a neutral party to help navigate a crisis - even when it gets very messy, and loud.
You may find tips for yourself, and ones you can share with a friend or family member going through a traumatic situation, tips that can aid in recovery from the trauma. Such tips can also begin to relieve suffering and be the bridge of a partnership.
If you haven’t listened already to the story behind this learning, please listen in on Episode 29: Mediation for the Mediator.
Do people remember their near-death experiences? Will telling someone in the hospital everything dash their hopes or empower them? Put their mind at ease or create despair? What about when it’s your child? This is what Louise and Archer discussed as Archer continued to ask when he would be off the lung machines. Does he want to know everything? Everything? What about parental boundaries? You’ll also hear the other side of the hospital experience from that of a trauma doctor who assured Louise no one will ever forget working with Archer and her family and how a patient’s trauma has lasting effects on medical staff - both positive and negative.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 28: Tell Him Everything August 9 DAY 5 and how to be a witness for each other's truth as we walk together on the trauma integration journey.
Listen in afterwards to what we can learn together about trauma. Episode 28: Tell Him Everything Trauma Healing Learnings
In this episode, you will hear from
Dr. Raymond Talucci, who was the Acting Chief of trauma at Atlanticare Hospital in Atlantic City, New Jersey the day Archer was medivaced to Atlanticare August 5, 2015, and for the duration of his stay at Atlanticare for 30 days.
Medical information should be complete, forthcoming and easy to digest. But when you have many people at many levels involved in the care of a loved one, they all interpret the truth differently. They may think it’s complete, but they can only share what they understand and what they feel they are permitted to share. Then we have the job to decide how much medical truth is to be shared with not only the patient, but others who are emotionally invested and whom the patient relies upon. Louise walks us through the questions to consider in various scenarios to help us have the conversation before it becomes necessary to have the conversation. And she takes a look at how such conversations might ease the later trauma integration journey.
If you haven’t listened already to the story behind this learning, please listen in on Episode 28: Tell Him Everything
You will hear Insights from Archer’s highschool friends, young men, on what it was like for them to experience their paralyzed friend. Why do we hold back our tears? She explores this with them. Louise also explores why she is beginning to experience mixed emotions with the medical staff: all the medical information is conflicting. Which is it? She wants to know the truth? She feels slammed from a raging sea from all sides. Will she and Billy capsize? She is aware of compartmentalizing the truth she wants to hear, but she wants real medical information. It is not forthcoming. She wonders if she is becoming at odds with the medical staff. Listen in to how she keeps Archer’s spirits up as she also shares more epiphanies she had this day, and is reminded to be alert.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 27: No Time for Tears August 9. DAY 5.
Listen in afterwards to what we can learn together about trauma. Episode 27: No Time for Tears Trauma Healing Learnings
In this episode you will hear audio recording excerpts from August 2015, of a spontaneous audio car recording of Louise driving to the hospital, and another of Mike Detterman, Archer’s friend since grade school days in Baltimore .
Trauma takes a long-term toll on the body, especially if all we do is store it away and simply say, “I held it together, I’m fine, it’s over.” If it were only that simple. What about tears? Is a good cry helpful or not? Trauma can settle into our bodies and cause us trouble years later. Holding it together may be commendable, but it’s only a Band-Aid. You deserve more than a temporary fix so you can get back to living life fully. The good news is there are many guides available to help us through trauma. Come hear about ones that are available for you at your fingertips and about the miracles of the body to restore itself.
If you haven’t listened already to the story behind this learning, please listen in on Episode 27: No Time for Tears
It’s such a privilege to take care of someone when they truly cannot for themselves. Sometimes in a moment, no matter how strong we are, we don’t realize we are incapable of taking care of ourselves. That’s when angels step in. Louise’s beach friend, Mary Ann McNally was in the right place at the right time to catch Louise as she collapsed. How they ended up in the perfect place for each other is what you will hear about. What Louise didn’t know, is that she was the gift to Mary Ellen as well.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 26: Little Angel August 9. DAY 5.
Listen in afterwards to what we can learn together about trauma. Episode 26: Little Angel Trauma Healing Learnings
In this Episode you will hear audio recording excerpts from August 2015, of Mary Ellen McNally is an analytical chemist for Dupont at the time of Archer’s accident and now for FMC in their agriculture division. Mary Ellen was one of Louise’s beach friends when Archer was injured on August 5 2015 in Cape May New Jersey.
Trauma happens. Healing trauma is a process. We can get stuck in our trauma experiences, but some memories step in to give us respite during the journey without our even realizing it. Have you ever been in a stressful situation and your mind wanders to a peaceful memory that calms you? That’s no accident. Those epiphanies can renew us, give us strength to carry on. They give us hope when we need it most. It could be a song, a soothing voice you remember, a place that brought you joy, a moment, such as the first time you gazed at your new baby. What is it for you? Tune in as we learn together. We all have these respite resources if we are open. Where do those little respite epiphanies come from that seem to come out of the blue? Join Louise to learn what happens when we open our eyes to resources that carry us on our trauma healing journeys.
If you haven’t listened already to the story behind this learning, please listen in on Episode 26: Little Angel
Louise and Billy were in trouble as they were both stretched beyond capacity in Day 5 of Archer’s catastrophic injury. There were many people in and out of Archer’s hospital room, many machines, too much unknown, and too much was out of their control. It was way beyond simple, sleep deprivation and fear. Did they need to sell their house, their business, move? If not handled correctly, this could be a devastating turning point for their family. She also raises questions for medical staff about transparency. Louise invites you into one of the most intimate pieces of her life, her marriage. She does it to help you know you are not alone and all is not lost.
Join Louise for this episode of Blink of an Eye: Episode 25: I Didn't See This One Coming August 9. DAY 5.
Listen in afterwards to what we can learn together about trauma. Episode 25: I Didn't See This One Coming Trauma Healing Learnings
In this Episode you will hear audio recording excerpts from August 2015, of
James Schmucker Archer’s dear friend in Cape May who was a Beach Club lifeguard and who saved his life rescuing him from the ocean who is now working in the hospitality industry,
Of an Atlanticare trauma nurse, and of Louise recording notes to herself when she was driving home late at night from the hospital on Day 5.
Even the strongest marriages can crumble when faced with trauma. This doesn't mean that the distorted statistics of divorce are descending on your marriage, at least it doesn't have to. Join Louise as she walks you through some of what she’s learned as a transformative mediator, but mainly as a wife and mother walking through her own trauma. She’s hoping you’ll find some glimmers of hope here if you are currently faced with the damage of trauma, old and new, still bombarding your life right now. Learn about how old unresolved trauma shows up. There is hope.
If you haven’t listened already to the story behind this learning, please listen in on Episode 25: I Didn't See This One Coming